We all know adults who go against everything. They complain in the workplace about any new rule or policy introduced by the boss, they are extremely disturbing to others and often find it hard to make friends.
I would say the most important thing we can teach our children is the importance of associating with others.
We need to teach our children the skill of cooperation from an early age, and this often goes hand in hand with dealing with aggression. These children will lack social skills and will have no creative ability to solve problems. The skills can be learned by children and once they master them life will be much easier for a child, parent, and teacher.
A child must learn to work together if it does not learn it will become difficult to learn other skills. Children like Max get stuck in a behavior that they react negatively to. Max will hang out with other guys who often get into trouble and a pattern will develop.
Mum and Dad must start the collaboration at home, otherwise, there is a constant conflict. Max becomes more and more challenging and pressures his relationship with his parents. Learning to collaborate is a first step before learning other social skills, and this process will require constant positive reinforcement and time. If not helped, Max will likely become a bully. So Max will have to learn some cooperative behavior. It would be very helpful at this stage to involve the teacher if possible. Max will need a lot of encouragement and praise for small steps towards collaboration along the way. At home, start by giving him small chores to perform, if you’ve successfully praised him, ask him again and try to ignore outbursts.
Children learn social skills at a different pace and some develop more positive social skills than others. We all know the impressive 6-year-old child who can greet you by name and maintain eye contact during a brief conversation. Max is not one of these children and social skills need to be taught. This learning process will be extremely important in forming friendships and attracting other children to Max. Unfortunately, poor social skills can lead to other problems. Many children nowadays spend too much time in front of the television and it does not give them the opportunity to develop in other areas. They spend less time exploring the outdoors and developing their imaginations and playing games with other children. Ball games are important, for example, football is a team sport and learns the value of trusting each other, this is a valuable step towards cooperation.
Learning social skills will help Max on his long journey towards collaboration and keep him away from aggressive behavior. The aggression is quite dangerous when she becomes anchored and every opportunity should be taken to stop her because other children don’t want to be friendly with an aggressive child. It can be helpful to have a sibling in this process, it can be helpful to share your possessions with a sibling and take turns playing. Parents can use both children to teach and strengthen cooperative behavior with Max.
By then, the class teacher should notice a difference in Max, contact the teacher, and if lack of cooperation persists, the school counselor should enlist the help in setting up a few strategies.
Solving social problems
It is Max’s lack of emotional control that gets him into trouble and he responds with anger when provoked. He will have to learn the skills to recognize and control emotions such as anger and fear. By the time Max is 7 or 8, these skills should be firmly in place, so he will need further help building them, as it is very important that he learns to interact with other people. In addition, it is important that Max and his parents have a positive relationship with him, otherwise, it will be difficult to implement strategies and move forward. Sometimes children like Max fall through the cracks when parents are divorcing or divorcing and in these cases the child may need professional help.
It is important that we separate the child from the problem so that we can help them overcome it. Playing will help improve your relationship with your child and they will become more cooperative and empathetic. Keep playtime conflict-free, it also allows you to pay positive attention to your child. If this is a game with winners and losers, let your child beat you a few times, it’s good for their development to win.
Praise your child for playing well with his or her brother or other children, and this will encourage them to uphold positive behaviors.
Max is now able to play positively with his younger sister and is starting to develop some empathy for her less than adequate ball-passing skills. Remember this all takes time, but you can see some changes in Max that reflect the hard work you’ve been doing. Remember that when you praise Max, praise the skill and not the child. Don’t say ‘good boy Max’, say ‘good game’. Sometimes special rewards are fine, but not too often as expected. They are a temporary way to get through a difficult time. Meanwhile, Max will have to do a few routine chores, maybe clean his bedroom or feed the guinea pig. Pets are good for children if you can have one as they teach responsibility and help children to be more attentive.
If you ask your child to do a chore, keep it short and clear, children cannot follow long instructions. Max, please feed the guinea pig long enough. Sometimes Max will have setbacks and maybe disobey, we have to constantly reinforce the positive and make sure everything is done (we don’t want the guinea pig to starve). It is the same in school, everything is strengthened and if things are not done, there are usually consequences. As the child gets older, the consequences are greater, so it is important to learn these things as early as possible.
As Max gets older, the reasoning and explanations start to work well, where it fell on deaf ears a year ago, so you’re definitely making progress. It is very important to help Max solve his problems and eventually he will be able to do it without help.
As we age, the conflict has become a part of everyday life, and it’s time for Max to learn how to solve problems by building on the skills he has already learned.
We tend to intervene and resolve conflicts between children, but we have to teach them to do it ourselves. They must define the problem and what they think of the problem. When angry, they need time to calm down before tackling the problem, because anger blocks the ability to solve the problem. So let them take 5 minutes and cool down. When they calm down, they can find a solution to the problem and sometimes they need help from you in suggesting the solutions. You can make suggestions and then let the child come up with the best solutions. Sometimes troubleshooting will not work if your child is tired or very angry because they cannot listen and record information. But if you get in early before the situation gets out of hand and emotions to take over, it should just work.
Max is growing up now and with your help and support, he has come a long way. He becomes a cooperative boy with good social skills and his school report says that “he gets along well with others and is very cooperative in the classroom.” What more could you want, he’s well on his way to developing strong emotional intelligence, and with his amazing problem-solving skills, he’s likely to become a captain soon. he has a strong empathy for his sister Alice, who remains very shy and is bullied at school when her big brother does not intervene.
You’ve done a great job as parents and I know it hasn’t been easy and the job isn’t over yet. But for now, it’s time to pat yourself on the back and check out the travel brochures, because, after all the hard work, everyone needs a vacation. Family vacations are the best way to strengthen ties.