It is not necessary to emphasize how strong and exhausting this work must be, mothers will always be characterized by that great maternal instinct, that they are able to give everything for their child, no matter how strong the sentimental or physical situation they are (the mother) is alive, we cannot separate from our children and think they need us.
Being a single mother is completely expensive work, not because you need a man to be accommodated in some way, but when you are sick or engaged in any activity, your child will feel your absence and need someone who to take care of you when you can’t, you need to educate and educate them to make you feel comfortable with certain people and especially recognize that you need, or rather let go, that umbilical cord in which you have it.
I understand that you can be angry with one or more people and even life itself, but filling yourself with anger can, among other things, cause diseases as serious as cancer and as annoying as an ulcer. You have to get it out of your body. What I do is go to a lake, river or something like that where no one is and throw all my strength into the water how many rocks I find. At the same time, I scream to get all the anger out and then the exhaustion comes, but in the end, I feel relieved and free to let a good mood and calmness come into my life.
You can always do it, and if you think you don’t look around and see how other single moms did, how they managed. Sometimes taking examples from other people can help us put aside a wrong perspective and we can even improve others’ versions by creating a new one that is more useful to us.
Obviously it’s hard to make all that happen, and thinking about that simple situation when you’re sick kills your nerves and makes you worse. The child needs other help besides you, such as a grandmother, an aunt, a godmother, or a very close friend you can trust to take care of your child. All you can think of is the time to get back on your feet and invest enough time in your child.
Whether you want it or not, you need help in these stressful times, as a single mom if it makes the job a little more difficult (it doesn’t make it impossible), but that adds to the fact that you’re going through a phase where if you are seriously ill, some help is needed (even if it is the least one that can take that much weight off your shoulders while you take care of yourself and your child.
Talk to the kids. Even if it doesn’t look like they understand this situation very well and will certainly be able to adapt and accept that we are not good. They can even take care of us a little bit.
After the storm, peace comes. Knowing that it is a temporary situation that will end at some point will help us to be patient and stay in the best possible mood.
Be positive. I know, it sounds so good and it is so easy to say, but we are not robots. Anyway, if it is true that it is good to be, because that way you will be less sick (I proved it), you will attract good things in your life and most of all, you will be happier, what you children will be the same when they see that you are doing well.
Tell someone how you feel or write it down: When we say words about our emotional states, our brains process and give meaning to these experiences, so that the intensity, frequency, and duration of the emotions are less. So don’t keep it all to yourself. Share it.
Caring for a family member with a chronic illness takes a huge emotional toll on caregivers. With everything we have in front of us, adding the care of a sick family member to the equation increases the burden of stress and anxiety when you depend on your side. However, it all depends on our interpretation. In other words, the emotions of fear and stress do not depend on the objective means we have, but on the perception, we have of them.
Yes, as you can see it is a complex situation to deal with, but you have to be positive about it and you have to fully recover and do your duties as a mother.
Something you should know as a single mom is clear:
The illusion of having children often comes up against obstacles that may not make motherhood so easy: the cost of caring for a child, the unexpected birth of twins, a congenital disease, job loss and being alone. a parent. Whether it’s because the father dies, the marriage breaks up, the husband doesn’t want to be responsible for raising his child, single mothers have a hard time raising their little ones on their own.
Don’t make him the man of the house.
This is often the case for single mothers
raising boys. It’s okay to teach your child to be responsible, but there is a
difference between being a “little man” and taking on responsibilities that
come with an adult. It prevents him from becoming the male figure in the house
that people put in his head that his job is to “take care of his
mother.” The child is him and it is your responsibility to take care of
The male figure is important.
Just as children need their mothers, not having a father can be reflected in shortcomings later. It is not that you are desperately looking for a man, but that you are giving your children positive male images. Whether it’s your own father, brother, cousin, neighbor, pastor of the Church, make sure your child has both influences in his life.
Tips for single moms.
If a woman is considering raising a child on her own, this is usually not the case. It happens, but it is more common for many that they are left alone overnight to take on all the responsibilities that this entails.
It doesn’t matter how tired you are and even if you have little time or not enough money left it will leave a place for you. Space where you can do what you really want, from crying to running, painting, listening to music, giving yourself a massage … Whatever connects you to yourself and feels good. Running a house with children is a very important responsibility, but if you don’t allow yourself to enjoy something, what do you live for?
Being a single mom isn’t always easy, but it’s not an impossible life’s job either. When life makes life difficult for you, remember these tips to recharge your energy and move forward, stronger and more victorious than before.
If you don’t have family, friends, or at least good acquaintances, it can only be more complicated to be a single mom and therefore for your peace of mind and the well-being of your child, you need to expand your networks and meet people.
Connecting with your neighbors, getting closer to your colleagues or even going to a club to meet people are possible alternatives you should put into practice. Nobody is free from anything, for example, what would happen if you fell ill and needed help taking care of your child?
Being a single mom is very common these days and you will no doubt find other moms going through a similar situation to yours that you can make friends with.
If you are in a relationship with your child’s father and he wants to see you and take on his responsibilities, it is best to make this clear from the start. Make a written agreement and negotiate an agreement between the two of you that you agree to. If all goes well, you have saved yourself a lawyer; believe me, otherwise, the investment is worth it. You will be more relaxed.
Controlling anxiety levels, being a single mom can be a new situation for you and as such it will give you stress and possible worries that you didn’t have before. Seek help, there are many places that offer free psychological care, for example in women’s institutions. In your city, you may be able to find single mom circles or associations where you can get support.
Finance, Finance is a sensitive subject for a single mother. You must cover your personal expenses as well as 50% of the costs of raising the child. That is why you need to have your finances in order; if you have no income, look for new ways to earn it. Don’t be discouraged, you can do it! Remember that many women are in the same situation as you and they have managed to make ends meet.