Raising a child: 6 Tibetan rules of wisdom & 4 crucial phases
We all want to do our best for our children and their education, so raising children properly is the most difficult of our responsibilities.
Reading, discussing, researching, learning, observing, looking for answers and supervising is a constant homework of the parent. Although it is true, not all answers are within the cover of a book, but it is never harmful to control the approach to education by different cultures. On the contrary, when I recently discovered myself, and after reading all that my hands had touched on this topic, except endless hours of chatting, analyzing questions and answers with the help of a Nepalese focus group of both parents and children, I had to admit that I most impressed by their wise Tibetan way to start a family that is so different from the Western life we know. That is why I have collected some of their best tips and words here that I am more than willing to try.
According to Genius Pregnancy, there are 4 crucial stages in the family education of a child. Here is a brief description of each of them, followed by 6 wisdom rules inspired by Tibetan parenting art.
The first period lasts a maximum of 5 years – treat the child like a king
Tibetans believe that the child should be treated ‘like a king’ during the first years of his life. There must, however, be a clear line between obeying and understanding. Nothing should be prohibited, and distraction should be the tool used by all parents. In these early years, activity, curiosity, and interest in life are formed. The parent must not forget that the child is still unable to build long logical chains and for any mistakes made, punishment will be suppression of the position of force.
The second period is from 5 to 10 – treat the child as a slave
This is the time when the child must be treated as a slave. Tasks must be given to the child and must be completed. For failed tasks, punishment may be accompanied by explanation and advice, but physical punishment must be avoided at all costs. This is the moment when intelligence is actively developing. The child must also learn to predict people’s reactions to his / her actions, cause a positive attitude towards him/her and avoid negative manifestations. Focus on empowering the child with a love of knowledge must be the focus.
The third period is from 10 to 15 – treat the child as an equal
While this may sound a little crazy because you are still the more experienced and knowledgeable, the child should be treated the same as you. It is now high time to consult with him or her on all important issues to offer and promote independence. It is now your focus to constantly provide tips and advice while listening to their requests and challenges. During this time, the autonomy and independence of thought develop.
The last duration begins at 15 years – deal with the kid with respect
Respect is the last, but not least, the most important lesson for your child. It is now too late for other common-sense values and it is time that you only must reap the benefits of your labor.